my journey to health

So I do coffee!!! Generally we try to do this once a week, with a bunch of what I loosely refer to as ladies – now none of us are really the fitness types, and yet today I sat there listening to us all talking about our eating, the exercises we have done etc – I blame Amy, Amy is my personal trainer and also my friend.  Amy coffees with us and I am starting to wonder if she is a witch, it is like she has cast a spell over everyone and all of a sudden we are no longer slovenly coffee mothers with feral children running free, we are now woman who want to exercise and enjoy(I also use this word loosely) doing it, we are watching our eating and laughing at our mistakes – our children are still feral and run free though!!!

It is awesome, it is awesome to have others who are sharing this with me, it makes it so much easier to bounce stuff off others and motivate each other!! I am very lucky to have these crazy bitches in my life!

Today before coffee I went to the stadium and did my workout, I have been trying to push myself to do a few extra of everything each week this week I did 40 star jumps and 7 interval runs – stoked!  Last week with amy, we decided to run the stairs, I made it up I think it was 3 flights running then we walked the rest, on monday with vanessa we ran them again and we made it up 4 flights, then walked one flight, ran one flight for four flights.

Well today I went to the stadium and I ran the whole stairs, I lie actually I missed the top two, why, because my legs just refused I physically could not do them, my brain was telling me two more, my legs were saying fuck you I am done!!!!
So proud though that I could even begin to do something like that

I just wanted to say how good I am doing with night eating, I used to be really bad, I would eat dinner, then around 9-10pm I would want to eat again, now it wasn’t that I was hungry I just needed to eat, so I would have a bag of chips or another helping of dinner, whatever happened to be around.
This was a habit I really needed to break and tonight after a friend talking to me about her late night habits, I realised I actually have done it, I no longer even think about eating at night!!! Yay!! I didn’t even realise I had done it.

I started with swapping things, having a piece of fruit, some sorbet, a big drink of water, a coffee, pretty much anything that would give me the sense I had, had something – and I honestly do not remember when I finally stopped having anything.

BOOM one habit down

So today in our PT session I felt really good, I have to remind myself sometimes how far I have come – I have gone from barely being able to do squats to doing over 100, I could not lunge, I could not balance and just could not lower myself enough to do one, now I do walking lunges. Jog bahahahaha doubt it, no way, now I can do small distances of interval training and it doesn’t actually kill me!!!
Today I ran up half the stairs at the stadium!! Yes ran!! Up stairs!! WTF who is this person doing this stuff??

I have to thank amy for motivating me, I started dreading monday mornings, now I actually god forbid almost look forward to it, I love being pushed just that little bit further and see what I am now capable of doing. And my awesome friends who have all joined me in this little crusade and are doing challenges with me and adding more and pushing themselves!!!

Today at the stadium as we were leaving, there was a very large woman walking along with crutches, she started talking to us and laughing about amy making me walk around the stadium. She was there to walk the stairs, not only was she a big woman, but she was on crutches, now if someone like that can get off their ass and exercise then I have no excuses ever

I also get now why people say exercise helps with depression, I used to be very unmotivated, busy yes, motivated no!! Since I have been exercising I want to get out more, I want to do more things, it used to be a dvd and chips and dip and vodka, now it is going out with the kids walking, doing things, seeing things!! I remember a guy I used to see for weight loss saying how much of our lives revolve around food, you do something good you reward yourself with a meal out or a drink, you meet up with friends you do it with food or around food, everything we do that makes us feel good has food involved in it and you know I finally see now, years later that he is right – everything i did revolved around food and drinking!!!

I used to be tired, all the time, on a monday and a friday when the kids were at kindy, chris and I would sleep, all day, just sleep and often in the afternoons I would have a wee nap, I don’t do that now, yep I have a sleep in on a sunday morning, usually till around 10 and I love that and am not giving it up, but the rest of the time, what a waste what a waste of a day and a waste of time

Well no more, food is now something I put in my body to make it work properly, with the odd treat thrown in there!! Drinking is something I have had to seriously look at it was only 1 or 2 at night, sometimes every night then a 6 pack on a saturday night, one for lunch on a sunday it is a day off after all!! Now I just want to drink when I socialise, not on my own, not because it is there, but because I want to enjoy a few with my friends, this is the next thing I am working on!!!

My first step was losing the premixes, which I have done, I bought a bottle of vodka a couple of weeks ago and when I have a drink it is that with coke zero, no more sugar laden pre mixes – now to not automatically pour a drink at night, which I am getting good at, one bottle, two weeks, still half of it there – pretty damn good for me!!!

So when I weighed myself last time, the machine was actually out of order but the guy thought it was just the printing bit not working, so I weighed myself anyway and that is when I had put on weight.
Well I was in the mall tonight and thought what the hell I will weigh on the same machine whilst I am here, 128.8 I had to look twice, I was literally standing there waiting for the numbers to go up and they didn’t they stayed in the 120’s!!!!
Now I am not silly, I know that I would have lost weight whilst being sick but surely not that much???
That makes me 20 kilos down – FUCK YEAH
To celebrate I came home and did 120 squats lol!!!
No more motivation needed right now

Sooo on saturday night I decided it would be a good idea to eat KFC, expecting of course the normal reaction to fatty foods, a little diarrhea, a bit of discomfort but meah I love KFC it was worth it!!
Woke up sunday morning with what I expected only I felt pretty crook, terrible stomach cramps, really bad diarrhea, I just felt like ass. I spent the whole day on the couch not eating barely drinking just feeling terrible, slept well all night, then woke on monday with the worst case of diarrhea (lets see how many times I can use that word in one post lol) I think I have ever had, and back pain that was unbelieveable. Chris got up got charlie off to school and by the time he got back I was in agony, having only had abdo pain with diverticulitis  before I was a bit concerned about the back pain.
So I went up to the hospital knowing that the danger with diverticulitus is how quickly an infection can become a perforation. They took me straight in as by the time I got there I could barely walk, sure enough I had a temperature and there was infection, after attemptin 9 times to get a luer in they finally managed and started me on fluids and iv antibiotics.
Then off to north shore to make sure it wasn’t something more sinister.
By the time I was settled at north shore on mon night it had been two days since I had had my kfc and I was a little hungry, but no, no food allowed.
Tuesday they sent me off for a ct which is so weird when they inject dye in you, such a creepy strange feeling, ct showed that the inflammation was not in the part of my bowel diverticulitis shows and they think it is chrons disease, so they allowed me home  to be seen for a colonoscopy and biopsy as an outpatient.

So that was my exciting week, it is now wed night, I still am struggling to keep any food or drink inside my body and apparently this can go on for a while – yipee!! Though great for weight loss, shame it will go straight back on again but hey at least it is something in the meantime.

I have struggled to lie around and do nothing, I have believe it or not totally missed doing exercise so I came home and managed 80 squats, scary how quickly you can lose it I struggled to do the 80 but I still did it!!! Now to get a bit of energy up so I can do more and hope like hell it is something random and not chrons

I am also looking at it as a bit of a wake up call to pull my head in with my eating, I have been good, but slowly letting things slip in that I shouldn’t be, so I just need a kick up the ass every now and again to keep on track!!

So yesturday I went to the mall and decided to weigh myself, I figure it had been long enough!!
The result ?? I put on 2 kilos, how the hell does that happen??

I will admit to being a little disappointed when I saw it come up on the screen and my first though was fuck, all that work for nothing!! But after about 5 mins I got over myself and remembered it is not about the weight it is about me and my health and fitness, so I came home did my squat and arm challenge!!

My eating needs to get better I still eat things sometimes without thinking, but in the same token, eating is something I love, and really enjoy, I have learned about portion control and am getting there – a handful of chips is better than a whole bag!! I have to not punish myself for eating the wrong thing, the odd time I do, because as soon as I start feeling bad about eating something it is too easy to start that whole cycle of well I ate one thing so I have blown it may as well pig out for the rest of the day!! So I am refusing to feel bad about the odd bad food choice, I would rather look at how much better I am doing !!

My doctor once said to me when you are trying to lose weight and things go bad and you put on a few kilos, you need to not focus on the fact you put a few on but focus on the ones you have still kept off – it is  a head thing and sometimes is it is not so easy to make you head think they way you know it should.

So I am now doing a squat challenge, arm challenge and perhaps cardio challenge, haven’t decided on that one yet, and I am going to see the doctor about the calf and hip pain I am having as it is making the exercise part hard and not so enjoyable