my journey to health

So last week was more than a little chaotic, with the death of danielle and getting josh home, her death has affected me more than I thought it would it is just so sad and I hate the fact that these kids have to deal with a friends death it just shouldn’t happen. I guess I have been exceptionally lucky the only close deaths I have really had to deal with is my grandparents, it has been 4 years since both of my grandmothers passed and it still makes me tearful to think about them.
So watching the fall out of dani’s death and the effect it has had and is having on her friends is just awful.

The funeral was very emotional and her parents are just incredible, so strong and so determined to get the message across to everyone to talk about problems and let others help them. Myself and two of the other mums made 527 yellow ribbons for everyone to wear at the funeral, we thought we had made far too many but there were only a few left at the end of the service, the parents asked that everyone put them on the coffin as they said their goodbyes.

I worry about some of her close friends and how they are coping, it is going to be a struggle for them over the coming weeks. And I am glad Josh is home to help ash through it as she can only be strong for so long before everything gets on top of her.

Anyway so being the emotional eater I am I have struggled this week, yes I have eaten some bad stuff but I have been very aware of it as well so have had a reasonable ammount of control over my food, and drink funnily enough, I am going without and it is not bothering me, don’t get me wrong I have had a few drinks this week but it is one here and there not a whole pile all week.

Saturday I missed class because I slept in, something I rarely do, I may not get out of bed but I am usually awake before 7am, saturday I slept in till well after 8 and awoke to texts from mike oops!! He made me do 100 squats, 100 crunches and 50 push ups x 3, I did it x1.5 cause it was just too hard, and I just wasn’t in the mood!!

Today I again had class and I am tired, really tired, did I want to go? No, not at all it was a real struggle to make myself do it, but I did and it was hard I really struggled today I was tired and some of the exercises were just a little hard for me, but I had the alternative of crunches so it was okay I got through it – planking though seriously that shit is hard, I have way too much body weight to be holding on my elbows and toes lol, its okay though I did it on my knees rather than toes!!

I am glad I went I do feel better and much more motivated and I do really like the women I do it with, we have a really nice little group so was good to lift the spirits a bit on a dreary monday morning