my journey to health

Today I cried, why?? Cause I am so fuckin sick of being fat, so fuckin sick of it, it has never particularly bothered me this much before, it is uncomfortable, the heat is killing me, I work in a kitchen so I sweat like a bushpig which then gives me rashes and bad rashes that hurt like a mofo, every part of me where skin rubs skin fuckin hurts and it smells  and I feel horrible!
I don’t give a crap if I am skinny, that has never bothered me I just want to wear clothes that I feel comfortable in, to not have to choose particular knickers on the morning of a hot day in case they rub in the wrong place, I want to wear tops that I don’t have to keep checking if they are covering my stomach.
I want to buy a fuckin bra, just walk into a shop and buy a bra that fits me, that supports me, that doesn’t rub or look like  it belongs to my nana.

I am fitter, so much fitter but that is it, when the fuck is the fat going to go?? Seriously it is doing my head and the thought of surgery which is something I have never really wanted to do is right there at the front of my mind all of a sudden, right there!!!

I apologise for my foul language