my journey to health

Had PT session today, wow I think I might be sore tomorrow, had to do 30 hard out minutes on the bike, wow I was sweating like a bush pig!!! Then arms, because I was stupid enough to ask for arms, may regret that at work tomorrow!!!

Now there is a massive downside to losing weight – SAGGY SKIN!!! And boobs and everything else. When you have been this size everything is stretched well and truly out of shape, there is no chance of it ever going back and to be honest the thought of masses of saggy skin is almost as offputting as being fat in the first place, I really don’t know which is worse!

I probably shouldn’t have googled, but I did, and I am sorry but ewwww it is horrible. I am already noticing it around my neck and on my stomach, my stomach especially is sagging lower and lower as there is less fat to pad it out and it is really not pretty or nice. Underneath my arms swing like they have a mind of their own. sure they were always fat and always swung a bit but it is far worse now. I don’t wave and I try not to gesticulate when talking. I don’t wear singlets or cap sleeves or anything that shows my upper arms!

Oh and my boobs, I thought I was doing alright for a 40 something year old, well no, no I was not, it was just the rolls of fat on my stomach holding them in a perky position, now those rolls are deflating, guess what is going down with them!!

So I am thinking it is time to start saving for a wee trip to thailand get a few lifts and nips and tucks here and there!!!

The other downside clothing, I am now heading into a 22 from a 26-28 and as much as it is lovely having things too big for me, it is quite costly to clothe someone my size and it is not a few kilos between sizes either it is a good 10 kilos from one size to another so it is not like I can skip a size of clothes and just wait till I hit the next size, I need to buy clothes in every bloody size!!! I do really look forward to the day I can walk into a shop and buy something cheap off the rack that doesn’t look like it was made for my nana!!!

My leg is still giving me assholes, my new worst enemy those horrible silver things you have to push through to get into a supermarket!! They hit my leg at exactly the wrong spot and it hurts when I forget and one of them gets me!! I hope someone can sort it soon because it is starting to drive me insane!!!

Anyway off to the hot pools this weekend with some awesome friends, which means new togs, cause the old ones are a bit gapey and saggy!!!!

All is good in my little corner of the world!! Still going strong! I think I have finally found that balance between good and bad, calories now mean nothing to me, I am eating mostly just good food, I found myself doing things like leaving avocado out because it had more calories than something else but have finally realised that good food, is good food, regardless of how many calories are in it, I eat avocado I use amazing olive oil, I eat good bread, it is all about fuelling your body, not starving it! It has taken me a very long time to discover this.

Exercise is going well, though I only managed once last week, I have a pinched nerve, I have had it for years but all of a sudden it has become a massive issue in my life the entire side and front of my left thigh, burns like a bitch, then I get stabbing pins and needles, then the real pain starts and even walking becomes almost impossible, but its okay because when the pain finally subsides, the itching begins, the I just want to rip my leg off kind of itching, that you can’t even itch because my leg is so tender and sore, just touching it is agony. Not only that but my lower back has decided it is not particularly keen on being kind to me at the moment either. So my current best friend is my osteopath who is trying very hard to fix me, and you know what I don’t mind if it takes just a little bit longer because he is pretty damn cute !!!!

Mike has started boot camp on a saturday morning which is really awesome, I have only been once, but it is nice to do something quite different, I am still attempting to do one day PT and three classes, but my leg killed that last week. And finding time is becoming a slight issue as well, not only do I work at the bakery which by the way I still love, but I also now work one day a week as a rental assistant back at barfoot and thompson where I used to work, a job which I also love, as much as I hate them, night classes are going to be my thing soon.

So when we came back after break we got weighed and I put on 1 kilo, now I am okay with this in fact I am quite proud of it, why you ask? Because a whole pile of effort went into gaining that kilo. It was my dear friends wedding and I spent the entire weekend and I do mean the entire weekend drinking and eating, I couldn’t even begin to tell you how many bottles of wine, or beer or bourbon I consumed, nor could I tell you how many of the amazing desserts made their way down my throat, but there were certainly a few, and it took some serious dedication to party like a teenager again, but party we did. So I am happy to own my kilo and I am thankful there was only one of them.

I weighed again this monday after having virtually an entire week of exercise and cause I was having a fat week and what do you know another 3 kilos down!! Stoked!! I have been tucking my t shirts under my bra straps for a while as they just seem to be hanging off my shoulders, didn’t really click till I put an old t shirt on the other day that used to be too small for me, that my t shirts were hanging off my shoulders because they are now too big!! Being that one day a week I now have to dress a bit corporate, I pulled out some old clothes, put away because they were too big and what do you know they fit!! So achievements all around