my journey to health

So sucking back tramadol last week has been a rather large contributor to my lack of motivation and incredible tiredness this week, that is why I hate taking them the come down from them is extreme tiredness, on top of that it is that time of the month and I am still having bowel issues.
So combining all three is not a conducive to good eating, an excuse, I know, I was so tired and unwell yesturday I missed class which I swore i wouldn’t do, I ordered pizza for dinner which of course just made my bowel issues worse as fatty foods tend to cause me extreme pain. Then of course this morning the side effects had me on the couch in pain most of the day!!
So you know what I did, I ate a healthy salad and made myself feel better!!

Of course I fuckin didn’t!! I could have, I should have, but no I had two slices of the left over pizza then at school pick up the kids were hungry so I grabbed them something to eat before dancing and myself a pie and sausage roll FFS, so stupid I didn’t even really enjoy them, so now I have once again filled my body with fatty food which will make me sicker and more tired with less energy, it is such a ridiculous cycle and it pisses me off that I allow myself to start it let alone continue it

But I can’t let a failure stop me, otherwise it is simply another excuse to give up, I shall make a salad if I get hungry later and tomorrow I will be up bright and early and off to class!

I want to know how these people that lose massive ammounts of weight do it, where they find their motivation and how they keep on track, someone should make that into a pill, they would make billions